“I know I should be having the time of my life right now, but…ah, your name just keeps popping up in my mind and I promised I wouldn’t call you, or talk about you. I’m not even supposed to be thinking about you but here it is, I’m here and I’m putting myself on the line again…and my best friend’s not going to be happy when she finds out but I needed to let you know.”
If you’re listening, just help him get better.
I danced a lot.
I drank A LOT.
and I didn’t puke. I’ve been such a champ the past few weekends I’m even starting toimpress Reid Williams aka “let’s go dt til 3 in the am and then go back to my house and drink some more til we can no longer see”.
I fell in love with an American boy.
And I fell in love with jagerbombs all over again.
Baby I’m baaaaaackkkkk.
maybe i don’t say a lot of things because i know that once i say it, i have to face it head on and admit it happened.
i didn’t feel relief when i talked. it was like going through it all over again and my brain hasn’t stopped since. it’s like fucking pandora’s box.
i need to shut off my brain because i don’t want to remember. i want to rip out every nerve in my body so i don’t feel what i felt that night.
i want to close my eyes and be able to sleep without seeing his face.
It’s a constant battle with my mind and if I could,
I’d jump off from the rooftops just so I don’t have to remember your name
It’s like gliding through a pins and needles dream;
I know that once my head hits that pillow,
the fight begins…and you always win in the end.
so here it is; if my lungs can still manage three words,
I would only use two.
use this time to step aside
and look around with your feeble eyes
use this time to forget me
use these days to lie awake
and feel the loss of my embrace
but don’t use anymore of me.
“i told him if he did anything, i would kill him….but i don’t think he would. he’s never been that kind of guy.”
“yeah, totally…..except that one night with me.”
i laughed out loud…only because i had every right to do so.
but you’re the only song i hear
in this great wandering mess in my ears
you’re the only one who brings me back to the middle